Search

The Extended Stay: how sending my son to MI for 3 weeks helped me to be a better Mommy.



For the past three weeks my son has been on an extended stay in Michigan. And it’s been an amazing! When my mother-in-law first suggested that we send baby Yury to Michigan with her for a couple of weeks I was offended. This was early on in my motherhood journey, I felt like I had everything under control and I really had a lot of separation anxiety when I was away from my son. Fast forward a year and a half I’ve been in the same routine with him every day and I had really begin to feel burned out.


Tensions were high between my husband and I, I noticed that we really were working together as far as taking care of our son but when it came toward us taking care of each other we were drifting apart. So when my mother-in-law suggested again, that we send Yury for extended-stay I actually took her up on her offer.

The first night was torture. I’m not gonna lie I missed my baby. But my mother-in-law was so good about sending us videos and photos throughout the day that it really helped to ease the pain. Plus the fact that my son was having the time of his life. He was running around the house, feeding the animals, playing the piano, learning to play the guitar he even discovered his voice while using a microphone and amplifier. He was doing all these amazing things that he hadn’t had the opportunity to do at home with us because we don’t have any of those things in our house and also because we didn’t have the time to do any of that with our busy schedules. By day three my son was honestly on another planet he was so excited to be spending time with his grandparents and learning so many things. I low-key feel like he didn’t even miss me. Once I realized that he was enjoying himself I decided to take the time and really get some things done. I decided to take the time to really spend some time with my husband. Some time for us to rekindle our relationship, for us to go back to the old days and really feel like we were dating again.


It was amazing!!! We laughed, we joked, we literally hung out for like six days straight. We even went to uptown for a late dinner , followed by drinks at the bar and hanging out with some friends until one in the morning. I jokingly said to him “who have we become”? But deep down inside it felt good for us to just get back to the old us. I hadn't realized just how consumed our lives had become with being parents. This time really was eye opening to me. The extended-stay also helped me to re-Kendall and flame with myself


Not only did my husband and I spend some much needed quality time, but I got the opportunity to focus on work without the guilt of spending too much time at work. January is the busiest time of our in our industry and I knew that this month was going to require me to work around the clock to reach my goals. With Yury away at grandma's I buckled down and got to work. Happy to say that I exceeded my January sales gaol by 160% and even got to celebrate with my co workers.


Obviously, every parent does have the luxury or sending their child/children to grandma's for an extended amount of time. However if you have been thinking about it but are a little hesitant here are a couple of tips that helped me prepare.


Do A Practice Run:

Take a smaller trip for a couple of days and let the kids stay with their grandparents.

We did this back in September when we visited Barbados. Our son was with my MIL for 8 days. That trip was the hardest because it was the first time that I had ever been without Yury since he was born. Once the trip was over I know that he was ok with being away from me and it make it much easier this time around.


Establish a Schedule for communication:

The one thing that my MIL was great about was sending video messages and calling thought the day. Even on days that were a little busier than usual I knew that we would speak to Yury before bedtime each night.


Reassure your child that you are coming back:

Weeks before we dropped him off I started telling him that he was going to visit his grandma in Michigan. Each time we would Face Time her I would say " You'll see her soon" or "Are you ready to go visit grandma in Michigan" and I honestly feel like it helped when dropping him off. So while he was away I continued that theme. Each time we would Face Time I would say "Are you ready for daddy to come pick you up", or "You're coming home soon". Honestly, this may have only been beneficial to me but I feel like it helped me and my baby to keep our sanity. He knew that the visit was only temporally and that he would be back home soon.


To sum things up don't shy away sending your little ones for extended stays. If you have family member or friends that you trust with your kids go for it. It will require some preparation and maybe a practice stay or two but it's good for you in the end. We do so much as Mommy(s) we deserve some time to relax, enjoy our spouses and even work without being interrupted.