Starting a family has been one of the great joys of my life. I absolutely love being a momma and wife. There is no greater gift than knowing that I’m helping to shape and mold my son into an amazing man. An amazing BLACK man to be exact.
Just as any other mother I have the normal fears and worries. Will he be liked by others, will he grow up to be successful? Recently my fears have multiplied. Now I wonder how do I protect him from the dangers of racism? When do we have the conversation about the police? Above all my greatest fear is that his life will be taken by someone who finds his appearance threatening without even knowing him.
The murder of George Floyd has rocked me to the core. I have to admit I can’t even watch the video. It’s devastating that our people are being treated inhuman and murdered on the streets as we beg for air to breath.
I've been seeing people all over social media question what it's like in interracial relationships right now. My answer is "We're stronger than ever" and here's why. Many of you know that my husband wasn't born here in the U.S. He's originally from Belarus (a country that border Russia). Now, this is not a history lesson on Belarus but to make a long story short it was once a part of Russia. He is no stranger to discrimination, from his family being discriminated against due to religion back at home, to him being discriminated against due to ethnicity here in the U.S.
My husband has always had an appreciation for black people and black culture. He understand how it feels to be the "minority" he see us, he hears us he's doing his part to fight racial injustice in our county.
We recently sat down a discussed the murder of George Floyd. And just as I've had the conversation with my mother I had "the conversation" wit
h him. Then I reminded him that our son's olive skin tone and curly hair are beautiful to us but may not be to everyone. That in the eyes of the law and this country we are very much so raising a BLACK boy in America. We discussed how we are responsible for not only educating our son on the dangers he may face but protecting him from them as well.
It's crazy that the same country that gives a promise of a better life and opportunity is the same country that can take away those very things from people of color. Everyday we fight a constant battle and everyday I choose to see the good. I choose to remind myself of the strides that we have made as a country and the others that are yet to come.
If you, like me we’re wondering how to have these tough conversations with your children here are a couple of tips.
Tell Them The Truth: We will shelte
r him from nothing. With age appropriate conversations we have committed ourselves to be completely transparent answering any questions he may have. Even the difficult truths that are hard to talk about. The key here is age appropriate conversations!
Actions Speak Louder Than Words: We will do our part to fight racial injustices and inequalities together as a family. So should you. There is one way to show your support sign an online petition, join a peaceful protest or even reach out to a local congressmen. Showing our son what it really means to be a united is our main goal.
Hear Them: Our son isn't at this stage yet but if your kids are old enough to voice their opinions let them. We are trying to raise the next generation of change makers.
Although our country has made many strides towards the advancement of African Americans there is still work to be done. Having these conversations with our children is us doing our part. Mommas, I know it seems scary to raise our children in such a crazy time but stay hopeful and prayerful that God covers our children and changes the hearts and minds of our nation.